New Rule: Let’s Not Fire the Teachers When Students Don’t Learn — Let’s Fire the Parents
New Rule: Let’s not fire the teachers when students don’t learn – let’s fire the parents. Last week President Obama defended the firing of every single teacher in a struggling high school in a poor Rhode Island neighborhood. And the kids were outraged. They said, “Why blame our teachers?” and “Who’s President Obama?” I think it was Whitney Houston who said, “I believe that children are our future – teach them well and let them lead the way.” And that’s the last sound piece of educational advice this country has gotten – from a crack head in the ’80’s.
Yes, America has found its new bogeyman to blame for our crumbling educational system. It’s just too easy to blame the teachers, what with their cushy teachers’ lounges, their fat-cat salaries, and their absolute authority in deciding who gets a hall pass. We all remember high school – canning the entire faculty is a nationwide revenge fantasy. Take that, Mrs. Crabtree! And guess what? We’re chewing gum and no, we didn’t bring enough for everybody.
But isn’t it convenient that once again it turns out that the problem isn’t us, and the fix is something that doesn’t require us to change our behavior or spend any money. It’s so simple: Fire the bad teachers, hire good ones from some undisclosed location, and hey, while we’re at it let’s cut taxes more. It’s the kind of comprehensive educational solution that could only come from a completely ignorant people.
Firing all the teachers may feel good – we’re Americans, kicking people when they’re down is what we do – but it’s not really their fault. Now, undeniably, there are some bad teachers out there. They don’t know the material, they don’t make things interesting, they have sex with the same kid every day instead of spreading the love around… But every school has crappy teachers. Yale has crappy teachers – they must, they gave us George Bush.
According to all the studies, it doesn’t matter what teachers do. Although everyone appreciates foreplay. What matters is what parents do. The number one predictor of a child’s academic success is parental involvement. It doesn’t even matter if your kid goes to private or public school. So save the twenty grand a year and treat yourself to a nice vacation away from the little bastards.
It’s also been proven that just having books in the house makes a huge difference in a child’s development. If your home is adorned with nothing but Hummel dolls, DVD’s, and bleeding Jesuses, congratulations, you’ve just given your children the gift of Duh. Sarah Palin said recently she wrote on her hand because her father used to do it. I rest my case.
When there are no books in the house, and there are no parents in the house, you know who raises the kids? That’s right, the television. Kids aren’t keeping up with their studies; they’re keeping up with the Kardashians. We’re allowing the television, as babysitter, to turn us into a nation of slutty idiots. By the way, one sign your 9-year-old may be watching too much One Tree Hill: if she has an imaginary friend with benefits.
New Rule Teachers Kids Parents
My Response to Bill Maher’s New Rule on Teachers, Kids and Parents:
You can’t make parents love, sacrifice and take care of their kids.
The best teachers can do for most kids is make sure they, the teachers, have plenty of insurance.
If government wants to do something to help then it must work to end poverty, stop Wall Street from destroying our economy and yes, I’ll say it, help cut the divorce rate through health care.
That’s a big agenda, a cultural and moral shift.
Not sure most Americans have it in them to make this change any more.
To start it might be a good idea to look at a brief history of public education in the US.
When looking at the history of the world, educating the masses is a fairly new phenomenon. We are moving so fast in our understanding of the world we’ve come to expect everything to happen here and now. Our brains are being re-wired by technology and we can’t physically or chemically keep up with the changes happening all around us.
Changing habits alone is difficult. We haven’t had time to educated our moral compass over our survival skills; we are still a waring nation. We haven’t reached the point of just doing the right thing.
In a sense we need to upgrade our skill set on humanity before we can make any real progress in education. Yet, when one considers history, we need to develop these skill sets through education or through great suffering.
So we are stuck in a doom loop, much like the economy, until the majority are enlighten by some magical power, great and honest statesmen with media access or we suffer devastating consequences this is where most will remain for the time being, treading water.
In the mean time, industry is guaranteed more fodder for their corporate military wars and an endless supply of janitors to sweep the nation. However, at the rate the dollar’s falling you might soon need a PHD to bid for a job as a janitor, a.k.a. custodial engineer.
Que Sera Sera.